| (no subject) |
[Oct. 16th, 2009|01:12 pm] |
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kymm give me a message when you see this i'll give you my number or email, dont want to put it on an entry x |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 4th, 2009|07:07 pm] |
I'm finding it so hard to do anything. I truly think that the majority of my brain has shrivelled up and died since I left university. I really do not have the drive to do anything.
I got offered a place on a journalism and photography work shop and they forgot to email the details so I couldn;t go. How shite is that, I could have rung them, I could have turned up at the building, instead I sent an email this afternoon saying that if they contacted me in the next ten minutes I'd be able to go.
DIV.
someone give me some drive. Yes one of you readers. I think my readers are me and that anonymous person who writes in gobblygook. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 1st, 2009|05:43 pm] |
Recieved
boulder holder from rice_dream_girl
tshirts etc from sugarlimbs
necklaces from dotdotdotno
Awaiting
hats and tshirt from karakuri_ningyo
it's been quite a long time now. i checked on feedback and it looks like other people who ordered at the same post recieved their stuff a while ago so it's probably an oversight but I did ask about it a couple of weeks ago.
Positive Feedback
rice_dream_girl
sugarlimbs
dotdotdotno |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 17th, 2009|12:49 am] |
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I must try to remember that my jokes get lost in translation. When talking to Americans. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 16th, 2009|03:45 am] |
The attic is full of water and my roof is falling down! If I do not return then ARRRRRRRRRRRRRGH!! |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 16th, 2009|12:47 am] |
I just got back from Download Festival. Nice to have seen loads of bands that I've wanted to see since I was the size of a grasshoppers knee. It was also gratifying to see loads of old bands that people will cry with jealously over!
I passed out on Saturday afternoon due to either heat stroke/ or bad weed, and woke up with 20 minutes to spare til Pendulum came on and a desire to eat 2 Mexicans (discovering in disgust that they were the only stall in the arena doing vegetarian food); so the general Pendulum experience was not there but holy shit can they pull it out of the bag.
Watched Marilyn Manson slowly colour his face in with lipstick whilst doing an impression of being to pissed to stand up. Keith 'Maxim Reality' Prodigy-Palmer went for a similar level of zany and creepy camera staring but pulled it off better.
After le Prodigy's set we went over to the main stage to see Corey Taylor whinging on about how he loved everyone and had dreamt of this very moment for his entire life. He also wanked on about how 80,000 people were there supporting him which I thought was a bit over optimistic considering atleast half the festicval had chosen to see Prodigy instead. I saw so many Slipknot Tshirts their as well.. Corey your fans are traitors.
Went back to the tent area before the encore to see Lee practically shagging himself with delight over Slipknot. so I told them I thought they were full of pooh to see what'd go down, but he went for an outright 'you're opinion does not count then' which was dulll!
Prodigy is really hard to say. Why must people always point out where the 'g' goes?
Prodigy dedicating a song to Slipknot (who were playing at the same time) was legend.
I felt harsh for them that Pendulum had just completed an amazing set before they came on which naturally included their cover of their Voodoo People. Sorry to say that not even Prodigy can pull off a Pendulum.
I missed Reading. I dont think festivals will be the same after last year, I dreamt about J about three times, I was chasing him up a hill on a bike - no prizes for working that one out. He stole festivals off me and I hate him for that! |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 23rd, 2009|02:14 pm] |
Whats going on between you & the last person you kissed?
not a lot, I only know about him because someone helpfully took a picture of it lol
What was your worst mistake in your life?
i walked past one of my friends without saying hello because i was with some mates and then she died and i never got to speak to her
What's something you really want right now?
a job
Does anything on your body hurt right now?
no i feel like i should run into a wall or something so that it does
Who was the last person to disappoint you?
my last boyfriend they tend to do that lol
Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?
i dunno i remember having a long conversation about death with Toby in France
Have you ever punched a hole in the wall?
no but I made a hole in the floor
Do you know someone in jail?
dont wanna jinx that one
What were you doing at 2:00 this morning?
with Jonny and Claudia doing something or other
Do you wear glasses?
na I aint a geek fool
Anywhere you'd rather be right now?
Asia, New Zealand, even Frejus doing Montage again,or Leeds, or the park
Are you going anywhere for the summer?
hope so
Do you have plans today?
recuperate i only had 2 hours sleep apply for jobs and make a remix on adobe premier (cheers Andy!)
Waiting for someone to call?
yeah one of the many many jobs I've applied for
What's a fact about the last person who had their arm around you?
likes Chris Morris
Where did you get the shirt you are wearing?
Leeds
Where were you on the 4th of July?
fuck knows
Do you still talk to the last person you dated?
yeah vaguely
When it comes to the opposite sex what is your type?
good looking funny interesting talented and charismatic
Can you do splits?
not quite
What was the last thing you drank?
latte
What was for dinner tonight?
lasagna
Does your last ex miss you?
probably not he's not that kinda person and it's been ages
Does anyone love you?
everybody loves me
Are you slowly drifting away from someone?
yeah a few people
Have you ever kissed anyone who's name started with an R, K, or J?
yeah. probably, like,I cant off the top of my head think of a K
When a friend walks out of your life, do you go after them or let them go?
With some people I'll try keeping in touch if we're losing contact but at some point you just think 'fuck it'
Do you still talk to the last person you kissed?
Well if I go to that particular bar and have to order a drink lol
What was your first alcoholic beverage?
whiskey
Have you ever lived with your boyfriend?
no I've had boyfriends where I stay at their house almost all the time. I alternate between that and having ones whose house I never go to
Does anyone like you?
Everybody loves me
Missing someone you shouldn't be?
ermmmmm kinda shut up
What did your day consist of?
since waking - doctors, walking, applying for a job
What's up with you and your number 1?
who is number 1
Have you ever been heartbroken?
nah not really
Is it as bad as it sounds?
what
Has anyone ever tried to ruin a relationship you were in?
yeah me lol
Do you have a best friend?
nah i have a lot of friends
What was your favorite year in school?
college, fucking loved college
Would you change for someone?
if it was something i wanted to change already
Will you be taken this valentines day?
cant be sure it is 11 months away
You're thinking about someone, arent you?
i'm not actually
Ever dilbrately tried to hurt someone very badly (emotionally)?
no i would never do that
What's more important, first impression or lasting impact?
last impact
What's in your wallet right now?
debit card and ipod
Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
i dunno i cant see his face in the pictures
Would you go out to eat ..with.. out George W Bush?
what
Favorite time of the year?
spring and summer
Have you ever slapped someone?
yeah lol slap fights
Do looks matter?
well yeah but sometimes you dont think someones attractive until you know their personality. normally
Could you ever forgive a cheater?
I doubt it I don't see the point of a relationship if you're not that into it
Do you hate or dislike more than 3 people?
no I cant think of anyone I dislike other than a certain chubby Asian musician
Who was the last person you talked on the phone with?
Dave
How would you want to die (electric chair, gas, lethal injection, hanging)?
sudden death syndrome
Has anyone ever broken a promise to you?
yeah and i'll never forgive them! jokes but yeah
Have you seen the last person you kissed without a shirt on?
non
Could you survive without electricity?
i could survive yes
Do you treat your pets like family members?
yeah I treat my cat like a sister who I dont like
Did you ever kiss someone who kissed badly?
omg yes - swirling vortex gary and that guy Alun from Toony Loons that everyone got off with at some point. oh and this guy at Leeds Fest who literally tried to stick his tongue down my throat
What time did you get up this morning?
8am
Have you ever been in a newspaper?
yeah a few times
Do you wish you had an older, protective brother?
I have an older brother
Could you go a month without talking to your best friend?
I could easily go a month without speaking to any particular preson
Are girls too dramatic?
so are boys
Interested in anyone?
nah I would quite like to meet someone I could have a little flirt with tho
When you last got dressed, did you put on your bottoms or your top first?
top
When was the last time you really wanted to punch someone in their face?
the old woman I worked for in the last pub I was working in she was so rude
Have you ever had someone sing to you?
yeah
Where were you at midnight last night?
Same as at 2am
Is anyone over protective of you?
yeah last time I had a boyfriend one of my mates said he was gonna beat him up - I was like er wait for him to piss me off first lol
Do you ever think "what if"?
sometimes
Who is your favorite person to have a serious conversation with?
I'm not fussed
Does talking about sex make you feel uncomfortable?
depends
Would your parents be mad if you came home drunk?
no lol |
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| ignoramuses twine on about handless tv presenter |
[Feb. 25th, 2009|05:58 pm] |
So, apparently Ofcom received 90 complaints from parent's of children who had been subjected to the horror of a C-Beebies presenter who is missing half an arm.
It is fair to say that the BBC like to tick boxes on their 'Inclusive' check list. Eastenders is a tribute to this; when Eastenders tackles one group of 'outsiders' they really go for it. The last couple of years seeing the introduction of various mentally unbalanced characters and 2 physically disabled children. Eastender's problem is that they always start off trying to tackle an issue by making it a non-subject. They seem to come from the same mindset as those who try to avoid accusations of racism by pretending not to notice someone is black.
You can imagine them in a witness stand parroting; 'he was tall...stocky... cant think of anything else to say about him', 'yes Miss Eastender, but was he black or white?', 'I couldn't say... I didn't notice'. This is what destroyed their first attempt at introducing an Asian family and produced the oddity of Ben Mitchell. A hearing child actor who wears a hearing aid in order to play a child who apparently is not actually deaf.
Back to C Beebies presenter Cerrie Burnell. The problem, parents are squealing, is not that they are 'disabledalists' but that this woman's deformity is 'scaring' their children. The problem is that she is leading kids to ask them to many awkward question.
It isn't fear that these parent's are describing, it's ignorance, fear of the unknown and an interest in finding out why she's different. The only way that these problems can be dealt with, for adults as well as children, is for the subject to be raised. If children aren't educated about difference from an early age, if they aren't aware that yes, some people are missing parts of their bodies, then they could end up age 40 and writing whiney letters to the BBC about their kids being scared by the Seven Dwarves.
What is needed is for disability to fully enter public discourse. I often joke that the only acceptable discrimination left is against gingers but this isn't true, as it seems that political correctness falls short for many different types of people. Yes, people are scared, people fear becoming disabled them selves, they fear their own mortality, and disabled people can for some be a reminder of this. But that is ignorance. In some cases it could be said that ignorant people should be left to their own stupidity. But for the disabled there are many obstacles to living normal lives even without the attitude barrier. It is important that people are taught to respect the disabled and their needs in order to construct a more inclusive society. Disabled rights policies are not suitably upheld. It seems at the moment for every 'reasonable adjustment' there is a 'reasonable excuse'.
'This new presenter is c*** - face facts - but because she has a disability then she was given a job. [It is] positive discrimination in my books.'
So? In this case I think, so what if it is positive discrimination or box checking that for the presenter the job. It is necessary for disabled people to appear on television, especcially kids TV, as this is the best way of initiating public and private debate.
There must be thousands of disabled people out there who could be as worthy of TV work as the 'normal' presenters, and if this one lady helps to make this a possibility, and can be a role model to disabled would-be stars who may fear that they would be rejected by the media on their physical, then the BBC should be given adequate respect for appointing her.
The benefit of these ignorant complaints is that public attention has been well and truly drawn to the situation and hopefully force people to confront the issue.
I think that the time has come to elect Tom Shakespeare as prime minister. The ideas on inclusion which he suggests in his book Help and his BBC Blog are superb. |
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| bop bop bop twitter fuck |
[Feb. 25th, 2009|05:41 pm] |
Twitter is much easier than this. subject headings were always my forte anyway. Why say in 500 words what you can say in 15 words, or 3000 words.
One extreme or the other.
I'm temping at the magazine again. They had a massive issue launch last night. I didn't go. Alfie Allen was invited twice though.
I got an email from the girl whose in charge of me today saying she wasn't in the office. Then at 4 she phoned to ask where I was. It was an automated response she'd left on. And when I checked my emails she'd actually emailed me at 1.15.
Fuckkkkkkkkkkk.
I'm going to be so embarressed bopping in tomorrow. She was going to send me some transcripts to work on as well but she hasn't... I hope they come through so I can do something at least. |
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| roar, roar, tiger, shark, it's the start of shipwrecked 2009 |
[Feb. 11th, 2009|04:58 am] |
So, I finally got round to watching the first episode of Shipwrecked 2009.
I didn't know if I'd be able to bring myself to watch this season. Going to an audition for it last year put me off watching the last few episodes of Shipwrecked 2008 (and I still don't know who won).
However, the presence of it on SkyPlus+ and the fact that my Dad had surprisingly, not gotten round to deleting it on one of his crazed Sky Plus purging sprees, I broke and watched it this afternoon. Holy crap, every year I forget how annoying everybody is. Infact, if I recall, the first stage of the audition process was the weeding out the less annoying characters, accents first.
This years founder members have the unusual characteristic of being almost unanimously dire. There is one possible contender for likeability in shark leader Xanthi (?) but it's early days, and there may be some underlying bias on my part since he is a Leeds boy. The sharks have rhyming names which will presumedly help them in a few weeks time when they write a song which they will try to get released on their return to the UK; eventually resorting to singing it on their lucrative ciruits of student clubs. Something like;
to the power of the shark... SHARKEY ATTACK!!!!!!!!!!
Xanthi
Holly
Rosie
Sheehee
Mackenzie
YEAH
We're gonna get YOOUU!
Well, atleast it gives the sharks something to work with for once. They don't have the benefit that the tigers have of a roar to disguise the utter shit-tasticness of their song.
Tigers tigers we are the tigers hear us roar,
roar roar, tigers, tigers,roar, roar.
we will prowl, we will roar, roar roar
yes we said it, now hear our roar
As always there are some 'major twists' in this years Shipwrecked. This week a team leader was elected. The teams decided on two similar looking guys as their leaders which made watching it quite confusing.
The t-t-tigers chose a model, who in his intro video, stated that he believes his over worked veiny body is an 'added bonus' for the women he sleeps with. He has also taken a vow of celebacy... so far he has been celebate for an entire 2 months and is terribly 'worried' that the female islanders might tempt him. Since as of yet he has a horsey girl and fat wound up 18 year old to choose from he should be safe from women. He is more likely to be tempted by gaystraight heshe blackwhite 18 year old Scouse Oompa Loompa Mark.
The Sharks chose Xanthi (?) a straight acting gay guy from Leeds who er, played football in his intro video. Reminds me a bit of Dom Joly. That's about it. So the first twist... if you can call the blatantly obvious a twist... was that each team leader had to 'sacrifice' a team mate to the other side for 'at least 4 weeks'. Oh, what a responsibility to put to one person, how difficult it must be, if only he could discuss it with his team mates before making a decision... oh wait... he can... never mind then.
The tigers chose Naganthi (?) because they all hated her, although I think they missed an opportunity to fuck up the Shark's song by sending them Mark.
Xanthi chose Holly because he did not think she felt she had bonded with everybody... obviously having misheard her desperate pleas a few minutes earlier to be kept on the island because she was a Shark through and through and felt she'd bonded really well with everybody.
Twist number two (nail-biting) Only one islander is going to see the £70000 this year. Considering this prize is usually split 20 ways - about £3500 each - it's not exactly the biggest loss. I've heard they get paid £60 loss of earnings for each day on the island anyway (totalling approx £5200 for originals) and some of them will be able to make upwards of one hundred pounds by posing in the News of The World, opening supermarkets and appearing at night clubs. |
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| unemployment and busses |
[Feb. 11th, 2009|03:03 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  blah | ] |
I lost my job last night so I ended up going on the lash in Bexleyheath.
I got the new and much-needed bus that has finally come about that can take you from my area all the way into Bexleyheath town centre. There aren't many people who use the bus yet and as the only person on there I got started talking to the driver, who was pretty young in bus driver terms. Some alarm started going about 5 minutes into the journey and we ended up smoking in the bus until another one arrived. He'd said that if I waited for his replacement bus to turn up he'd take me up there on the motorway which would be a lot quicker but I wasn't sure how long it'd take to get there and it was already after 10pm. The new driver picking me up was all haha like 'teehee is that your boyfriend' (about the other driver). Jack Dee he aint.
The meeting I had with my former employer was bizarre. He suggested that I take a years sabbatical (from part time bar work?) and have my parents support me. Hello, that is the last thing I need ever. He also asked how my home like was when I laughed at this and said that I didn't really think my parents should be supporting a 21 year old graduate. Bloody hell, a year sabbatical? A year of £47 a week from the government and living with my parents feeling like a waste of a life? A man who just sacked me acting like some kind of life counsellor? Hello, shut up.
The worst thing is that I managed to drop my phone in the pub, so after trying to leave with my dignity I had to walk back in and get my boss to help me find it.
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| Well fuck you, I'm on a boat |
[Feb. 9th, 2009|02:40 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | on a boat | ] |
| [ | music |
| | The Lonely Island - 'm On a Boat | ] |
Yesterday film makers The Lonely World uploaded their new video 'I'm On A Boat', featuring US rapper T-Pain, on to Youtube. It comes in advance of their new album INCREDIBAD which is due to be released on February 10th.
The Lonely Island are comedians Akiva Schaffer, Jorma Taccone, and Andy Samberg. Apparently they are all in their early thirties but I find this difficult to swallow, watch their videos - I (finding one of them to be quite attractive) certainly felt like a paedophile.
Together, The Lonely Island's work has ranged from their own projects to directing four videos for the band We Are Scientists and writing for popular American sketch and variety show Saturday Night Live.
As a 'band', their music resembles an American Goldie Lookin' Chain and they use a similar satirical style in their lyrics. They bring with them expensive looking parodies of big dollar American music videos.
I first came across The Lonely Island through a link to the song 'Jizz In My Pants' in the Youtube favourites of Leejaybeats, the creator of the funktastic Willy Wonka Parmesan Remix.
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| SLEEP the EP |
[Feb. 7th, 2009|06:05 pm] |
One thing that really annoys me about people is when they call you up on something. You explain it to them. They purport to understand/. And then a few days later the bring it up over something completely unrelated in order to say 'that's stupid anyway'.
My mother does not seem to understand why I keep different hours to everyone else.Well in this moneyless winter I do not want to be up at 9 in the morning so that I can wait around all day to go to work. I do not want to be up at 9am in the morning so I can walk around the house being vaguely annoyed by my parents. I'm to used to having my own space. I'd rather stay up until 6am because for 5 hours I have the house to myself. Then get up 12ish, and only have a couple of hours, or 6 hours, whatever, before work. I explained this to her the other day and she was very <i>oh I understand</i>.
Today, I pointed out today during one over her holier than thou moments that I wasn't likely to ever get up at 9am on a Saturday morning to go to the gym like she does since I go out on Friday nights and have to stay up later on Saturdays due to arriving home from work at 2am.
She comes out with. Well, you don't really have to stay up later.
I was like, well yes I do, you go to bed at 11.
? is she disputing that I work until 2am? Is she suggesting I leave at half ten citing 'must be in bed'ingness?
No.
Her reply; "Oh well not really, nobody has the house to themselves it's not just you."
So anyway yeah... I've been meaning to go gym for a few hours now it's to late. I'm a fat person paying £55 a month to rarely go to the gym.
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| Word of the moment: Sisyphean |
[Feb. 6th, 2009|06:37 am] |
Sisyphean
1. Incessant or incessantly recurring, but futile.
Root
From Greek Mythology.
Sisyphus was a figure doomed to endlessly roll a boulder up a hill in Hades.
I feel the change of icon to be appropriate since this is probably what it felt like to be Mr G (?) when he was a ghost and the only person he could talk to was Bombhead.
It is also presumedly what it felt like to be Bombhead whilst being harrassed by Mr G.
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| employment jeopardy |
[Feb. 2nd, 2009|05:12 am] |
My weekend starts tomorrow, as in today! I am so happy not to be working a 9-5 right now. Not least because I'd be getting up in about 40 minutes.
i think I might be losing my job next week. I'm still on trial since I wasn't officially working there until 3 weeks ago, and my manager's wife really does not seem to like me. The guy I work with on Saturday nights told me about a less than encouraging conversation he heard between the two of them. I'm pretty tired of her rudeness anyway, but I will miss working there. Largely since there are now usually a couple of hot young men in the pub, somewhere amongst the hordes of old drunks, and young good looking guys are programmed to chat up bar maids when there are few women about. On the other hand, working in these pubs doesn't give you the best impression of the faithfulness of the male species. Plus, perhaps more importantly, I'm pretty fucked in the employment and financial departments.
Although i would be shocked off my face if I was kept on after this weekend, I don't think that I'm really bad at my job. I know what I'm doing and I get on with the customers which seems to be their main criteria. I've picked up a few new skills such as changing barrels, opening the pub and running the bar alone. If I have to go back in to another bar that might help to get a better position. If it was Whetherspoons. You have to be over 18 and alive to get a supervisory position their usually but the criteria probably risen with all the former Woolworth managers flooding the job pool.
They also think I'm to social with the customers, which is kinda hypocritical since they want you to be friendly with them and the rule only seems to apply to me and the younger guy who works there. The guy manager is almost constantly sat drinking with customers.When I started there it felt like being in the League of Gentlemen with all this this is a local pub, for local people. We like to keep the locals at our local pub happy. We shut the doors at 10:30 and only let locals in. We have a different taxi number for locals. We like to remember what the locals at our local pub have to drink when they come to this, our locals only pub.
What am I chatting about now? Who knows. I am going to sleep since it is 6am and turning up to work today would probably be a good idea. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 28th, 2009|06:12 pm] |
The guy is back and as infuriating as ever. He's in NZ at the moment, travelling the world. He's just asked me to travel around Europe with him when he gets back at the end of June. I know it's a bad idea, really, but stupidly I agreed after attempting to rationally think about it for a few days.
Now he's not replying. I'm trying not to get pissed off at this point but I don't know what he's playing at. I hate this compulsion that I have to figure him out. I just want to figure out if he is the world's biggest game player. It's jarring. It's not like I'm not over him, I was with J, when I was with J he never really crossed my mind. But I wanna do Europe but various reasons. I want to go. I want to go to the summer festivals. I want to do this all soon, and yeah I want to see him, I didn't think I'd ever see him again. But he cant expect to get away with messing me about again cause we aint even together.
The further away he is, the more angry I am at him, the closer he seems to be. A year ago he was living a minute away, today he's 5 months away. In June it will be over a year since I last saw him since he left without saying goodbye. Yet suddenly he wants to spend 6 weeks with me. Brookes says that it's for the sex. But that just seems like too much effort for him. |
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| my cat is a hobo |
[Jan. 19th, 2009|04:38 am] |
rainbow
you are a ho-bo
although you live in a house
because it is not a cat-house
where is your cat-house?
rainbow
you are a ho
you are a ho-bo
rainbow
hobo
rainbow
hobo
rainbow
fuck off
it is interesting what you think of when you're stoned and your cat is annoying you. it's when i come up with some of my best insults. |
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| something long and about me that I doubt anyone will ever read |
[Jan. 19th, 2009|03:17 am] |
The past few days have been fairly interesting, if you live in a vacuum.
Thursday night I'd had plans to go to a pub quiz night, but as I was aiming to get up at 5 to take my sister to the Brits I didn't bother with it. Then at about 10 Jonny and Alex turned up at mine so we decided to go to the pub, but I, in my new state of flux, decided to mix it up a bit and go find a different one. Somehow, by the time we actually got to one it was last orders so we had some shots and for some obscure reason a shared pint of Fosters. This seems to be becoming a tradition considering that last week I shared a Guinness with Alex.
GUINNESS - 'a pint of poison please'
Its' great popularity at work coupled with my adventurous nature (ow yere) had lead me to want to give it another go (hey, people may mistake me for achingly-hip-and-cool-indie-chic/ middle-aged-irishman-abroad if I drunk that), and I'd discovered that it was as bad as I remembered. Although it did taste less of earwax, and more of a horrible taste I cannot liken to anything else.
After a short one at the pub, we ended up going back to Alex's and inventing a drinking game, getting through a bottle of tia maria and dark rum (interesting choice of mixers). We also had a few cheeky tokeys on something dutch that Jon brought back from Amsterdam with him. He went there a few days before new year and got back on Thursday after sleeping on the streets for the last couple of weeks. I wish I had gone as it sounds wild travelly but I'd just managed to get my new job when they booked it.
On Friday night I went to L's to meet the guys for a smoke and so that he could fix my bike tire. However, he wasn't actually there so I hid my bike and went to find them at the pub, only to find that Dave and And were still out of town and L and Tone were pretty fucking drunk. Eventually Tone's girlfriend turned up, although the fact that he was off his tree and he had no single meant that she was livid. They left, ended up going back to L's where he sobered up a bit and managed to fix my bike. Some guys turned up at the door who were on the run from the police and L told them that he didn't want to get involved, which it took them a while to accept. Then he had a prank call from his family which didnt go down to well.
After a while I suddenly realised that he'd been crying for ages but it was so surprising that he would be that I just didn't register it. I think that his self destructive mindset is finally waning. Unfortunately there is a chance that it's to late since he's got two court dates coming up. But he is trying and he feels like he is being dragged back into it. It is sad but it's good that he's thinking things through now. Whilst Tone was still capable of speech earlier in the night he'd said that now he's gone through being in prison that is it for him, I'm so proud of both of them and I hope that this friendship group will be less stressful now! I ended up staying til about 5am because I wanted to make him feel better so we chatted and then we played playstation for a while and had a few naughty cigarettes.
On Saturday I woke up late - about 2pm (Terrible I know). I kind of allow myself this on a Saturday because I'm usually in bed at about 5/6am, plus my working 'week' begins at 8pm on Saturday night.
I went in to work - found out this guy I thought was hot but about 19 is actually 25. He has the oddest way of answering the question 'what do you do'; which was to say what he did and then tell me exactly what he earns '45/50k a year, its okay but you could earn more around here'. I was like; er well, Barmaid, £110 a week, I want to be a journalist, £17,500 grand a year.
I finished my shift early and ended up going to Venue with 2 guys who'd been arguing with me all night because I'd said it was shit. So when I finished they said they'd pay for everything if I went with them. I said yes because when I was at uni I'd go clubbing with people I'd just met and loved it, and because I'd realised it was stupid I was feeling bored with life but not trying to do anything about it, taking risks or taking opportunities. So I said yeah. It was pretty cool since I haven't been clubbing for months now, but I'm a girl and I love the dressing up side of it (and straight from work, I looked a tramp). So I still feel like I need to dress up and go clubbing.
Met some weird guys. I think one of them was trying to grab me or something, and then his mate was holding him to stop him but then kept doing it him self, then he said 'sorry, my friends being obtuse' I have no idea what he meant about that. I saw him again at the end of the night and told him 'owww hiiiii, I met you before when you were still alive', you had to be there and be drunk to appreciate the hilarity of that comment I'm sure, but just be assured that hilarity did ensue. The security on the door to the roof garden was off his tits which I found hilarious, the first itme I went out I think he stole my drink (someone did), the second time I chatted to him for a bit and took the piss out of him for being in that state on the job, then made him guard my drinks, I'm surprised they didn't end up all over the floor.
After wards the taxis were trying to charge us £25 so we went into a taxi rank, who also said £25, but then this Jamaican driver started arguing that it should only be £10 and that he was taking us and that was that. So he took me to my house and dropped the others off on the way for only £10 which was lovely I love him.
The only bad thing is that I am trying to make friends to hang out with, and I realised half way through the night that I was being set up with one of the guys. He's alright to look at but that really is not what I want to be doing. I was really focussing on not doing anything but then I had a few to many drinks and we had a little kissy. Ooops. I think I'm still on the rebound when I'm drunk. In a way since I broke up with the moron I've isolated myself a bit. I think it is hard to get over someone when you're also losing all of the friends that you made when you were getting to know him, and when you were mates, and when you were going out. Cause by giving him a chance you've trusted him with all of that world and when you both break all of that break. i hope that they feel a bit like they've broken up with me too, and that they're angry with him because we were close. I know it sounds stupid to say that and yet we wont talk or hang out now, but that really is a different world now. I was taken out of context when I was with them, and I was with him, and I loved it, but that aint my reality. We dont go to the same places and it aint the same world, and they are all completely under his thumb.
Today I had a terrible alcopop hangover, we have food in at work on Sundays so I was hiding behind the bar eating cold roast potatos they were so nice. |
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wateringcan's journal
sleepy